Bottled Up

The nice thing about March is that it comes right after February.

There is a song by Paul Overstreet called "If I Could Bottle This Up." If you've heard it before, I will be shocked. Actually, I'll be shocked twice: once because you've heard an incredibly obscure and less-than-popular song, and again because "you" (i.e. a reader other than myself) actually exist...

...but about the song. It's a nice song, full of all that one would expect from a country artist in the 80's, twang and female backup vocals and, of course, refers to love. My guy Paul wants to bottle up the wonderful love from his sweetie, and then, in a less-romantic moment, schemes to turn around and sell that bottled up emotion, capitalizing on the world's desperate need for emotions that don't require Prozac, Cymbalta, or Paxil. Can you blame him, though? I mean, sure, he might do something a bit more noble than sell it but...to have a perfect moment captured? It would be to succeed at the task which every artist, poet, and musician strive for...

...it would be to satisfy my heart completely.

I am often overcome with the desire to capture moments. Today I was in my car, enjoying March, and thanking the Lord that he had sent this month in like a lamb as opposed to the lion. March is so incredibly refreshing after the dreary slush of February...it feels like jumping into a pool after you've become all pruny in an over-chemicaled hot tub, only much much better. Sublime bliss was mine as I drove through curved roads with one window down, inhaling the vivacity in the sweet warm air, listening to music just loud enough so that it seemed like the soundtrack to the movie that is my life. I took supreme pleasure in the way the dust sparkled and danced in the light that was streaming through the windshield, warming my skin...It's so frustrating, though, to only be able to tell you the components of the moment, and be entirely incapable of informing you how it affected me. The effect is so important...because it is really the sum of the moment. It is not exactly perfect, but it has an element of perfection in it...it is what I want to express, what I want to capture. My desire to do so is a desperate one, a need, an impression on my heart that I absolutely cannot shake and long to give to others. It is supreme satisfaction, contentment, joy, peace, and heart-swelling fullness. It can be felt in the very deepest parts of my soul, and every part of my body. I don't know enough words for it, but i so want to share it with you, and everyone I know...

Don't be mistaken and think that it is only car rides that leave me stumped in this way. Being in my backyard at home right at twilight, watching the sunset on Lake Michigan, an ideal gathering with friends or family...

As my most eloquent professor put it, it is the feeling and knowledge that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Someday I'll catch a moment, I'll put it to words, squeeze it into a frame....something.

I'll share it with you when I do. For now, I'll just go on feeling these moments as deeply as I do, and enjoying them on my own.