Sometimes

Sometimes you just don't go to sleep.


Sometimes you just stay up, stand out on your porch all alone and try to take in as much of the sky as you can. You just breathe.







Sometimes you just spend a little time longing for someone to share the starlight with.

Sometimes you just cry.


And sometimes I just pray.

These Days...

Since my last post...everything in my life has changed.




Okay, you're right, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it was founded on a shred of truth. Maybe more than a shred. A lot has changed.



For instance, I dyed my hair red.









Just kidding!!! Gotcha!



Here are the real changes:



Change number one: my location has shifted. I am now back in the VA. (That's read, "Vee Ehy." And no, I don't have a good reason for prefacing state abbreviations with an article. It's just what I do.)

Change number two: there has been a significant adjustment in how I spend my time. I am now re-instated as a full-time student and as a part-time employee at Panera Bread. Hoorah.

Change number three: the girl whom I have claimed as my best friend since I was six years old got married on Saturday and is now moving to Argentina.

Change number four: this is my Senior year of college. In May I will graduate and for the first time in my life the next step will be entirely in subjection to my choices.




If you don't see the significance in the first three...I hope you're catching on with numero quatro. This is a big deal.



I know that the only thing that stays the same is change...but knowing that doesn't make it easy.




I'm a little scared.











----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Earth changes, but thy soul and God stand sure."

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

"O visionary world, condition strange, Where naught abiding is but only change."

- James Russell Lowell

"There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse; as I have found in traveling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position and be bruised in a new place."

- Washington Irving

Consumed

I've not posted in a bit...we'll all just have to deal with that our own ways.


Here's what I'm thinking tonight. I'm thinking about my life. I'm thinking about...my blog, at the moment.

Do you know why it's called By the Word? The answer is multi-faceted actually. The answer which might be the most obvious is that I love words. I do. I love the power of language. I am ever fascinated by the fact that each word is wholly its own...so much more than just a dictionary definition is attached, and therefore one tiny little word has the ability to speak volumes, to change the temperature of a statement entirely. I love literature and poetry and communication...and Boggle, Scrabble, Upwords, and Letter Getter. I really love words. I live by words.

But there's another side to "the Word." In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The Bible, the manuscript to my life, that is the Word. I am particularly fond of the blog's title because it is a message to me, a reminder that I want to live my life entirely "By the Word."

I know that I have a bit of a reputation for my love of words. But do I have a reputation for my love of the Word?



A sense of urgency has been on my heart lately. I am not of the opinion that a Christian's life is "wasted" if he or she does not go in to full time ministry; working a nine to five with a briefcase and tie is not a sin. However, I am convicted with the thought that a Christian life can be wasted. All of mankind was created to glorify God...it is my special duty to glorify God. My life can be a showcase of His glory whether I punch a clock or preach to the tribes...and it can likewise be a pointless waste of time in either endeavor.

Every moment, every thought, every decision, every word...it can count for eternity and glorify God,


or it can be a moment, thought, decision, or word that is lost for eternity.


A moment, thought, decision, or word that glorifies...something other than God.







I am overwhelmed with a desire to be overwhelmed by a passion for the work of the Lord. A friend of mine wrote a song a few years ago...to be honest I only remember two words: consume me. I am pleading with the Lord now that He grab my heart and fully consume me with a desire to glorify Him. People are lost. God is being mocked and cast aside...taken in vain.





Oh God, let me not forget that You are my purpose. Let me not be taken with my own vanity and desires; allow me to be all consumed by a fire for You. I yearn to be with You, to live a life that is pleasing to you, to not waste my moments. Keep me far from those things which will keep me from Your purpose, don't let me stray. I love You. Consume me.

Just Putting It Out There...

I've been temping for the last few weeks at a plastics factory, working in the assembly department. Essentially this means that my hands are completely occupied for eight hours while my mind is free to roam about where it pleases, doing what it will.

On my breaks I often have to pull out my journal and jot some things down because my mind has chosen to write a substantial amount of poetry...here's one that I like:


Today

I've thought about you a lot today
And I have some things I'd like to say
But instead I think I'll let them drift away
And I've thought about you a lot today.

I've thought about you a lot today
From smiles to frowns my lips have swayed
But my true feelings won't be betrayed
And I've thought about you a lot today.

I've thought about you a lot today
My heart and mind began to stray
There's a memory dragon that I can't slay
And I've thought about you a lot today.

I've thought about you a lot today
So I bend my knees and heart to pray
And my burdens upon this altar I lay
And I'll think of you no more today.


j. marie




There are some that I'm working on which are better...but this is what I'm willing to give for now. I think it's....complete. Yes.

Enjoy?



Peace and blessings.

The Jessica Chronicles: Wiper Worries

Things happen in my life. They're funny, ironic, crazy, and sometimes just things. Like, for instance, right after I broke up with the guy I had dated for two years, the first song I heard on the radio was "I Don't Love You Anymore" by Teddy Pendergrass. Go on, listen to it. Seriously? If you don't think that's funny, ironic, crazy, or some combination of the three, you owe me a dime. They're those moments when I'm sure my life is secretly a movie, or some sitcom that I don't know about. I'm sure they happen in your life, too, but I can only write about mine. These are the Jessica Chronicles.


This week in the Jessica Chronicles....


We have huge storms in southwestern Michigan. I know that I can quote some person or other claiming the county I live in as located in the very tip of Tornado Alley. That's not a true statement, but nonetheless, we often have huge thunderstorms, and our fair share of tornadoes.


There was a huge storm the other night. Friday night. The night I decided to transfer my dad's newly purchased vehicle to our friend's house.


Why does a new vehicle need to be taken to someone else's house, you may ask? Well, allow me to elucidate. My family has this thing about getting good deals. My mother is the most skilled coupon clipper in the world, my older brother will die before he buys something new that he could fix, and my younger brother is so often at Goodwill that they now have a place for him to sleep. My dad is a compulsive good-deal-getter. You can see it in his eyes and the way he scrunches his face when he is contemplating a good buy. I know exactly what his face must have looked like when he put in the bid for the old Sunfire that was available in the silent auction at the county jail. (Apparently, they repossess and sell the cars that belong to those whom they arrest...) I saw his face when he found out that his bid was the winning one.

It was ecstatic.

I took him to pick it up and followed him home. Upon getting out once we had reached our house, he informed me that it smelled bad and that the brakes needed work. (Still ecstatic.) He then declared that it should be taken to Bruce (our amazing mechanically-gifted friend who has saved us HUNDREDS of dollars in car repairs) so that all of its various issues could be determined.

I'm trying to become the favorite child in the family, and my attempts include fulfilling the requests of my father.



Thus, Friday afternoon found me making the (what should be) 5-minute drive over to Bruce's house. I was following my friend Tara, with whom I planned on jumping into the lake after dropping off the car. She'd been pushing me to swim with her for days. This trip would be two birds, one stone.

Lovely.

Or so I thought. I had been informed by a friend that it was raining in a town about fifteen minutes to the west of where I live, and that it would be headed my way. It would have been great if he had let me know that along with the coming rain would be a storm that would tear the world at the seams. He didn't, though. I did see the lightning begin to flash in the not-so-far-off distance during our little jaunt around the lake, and was right in the middle of thinking that swimming would be a no-go when the first drop of rain ominously hit my windshield. I closed the sunroof and (manually) rolled up the windows. Moments later it was pouring. Pouring-pouring. Not just the kind of pouring that people refer to when they want to make a story sound dramatic, the kind of pouring when the rain might as well be a cement wall in front of you. I couldn't see a thing.

Naturally, I start fumbling for the switch to turn on the windshield wipers.

...I fumble.

...and I fumble.

...and fumble.

A few terrible moments passed as I realized that the switch upon which the control for the wipers sat had been broken off at the base. It doesn't even exist. Awesome. I fumbled again for the hazard lights and stepped on my brakes, hoping Tara could see well enough to not smash into the back of my car. I contemplated just stopping the car and making a dash for hers, but was afraid I would be hit and killed by some driver as equally unable to see. So I began to roll down the window...

...and then promptly rolled it back up when I deduced I was getting wet.



There few a few more seconds of indecision before I gave in to the conclusion that I had to look out the window to drive. Thus, I dramatically threw my purse to the side and thrust my head out the window in a very Angelina-Jolie/chick-in-an-action-film kind of way. I'm pretty sure I yelled, "Move the purse!" in order to help myself along. It was a great plan.


But you know what's not easy to do when there is a load of rain and 80mph winds?

See.



There was a lot of bobbing in and out and thankful prayers that I knew the roads well enough that I didn't have to stay out the window, but nonetheless I was drenched by the time I parked the car and dashed into Tara's.


She stared at me, mouth hanging open, and asked, "Why are you soaked??"







That was the moment I remembered that all the windows back at the house were wide open.









*there was plenty of laughter/screaming in terror involved in this episode of the Jessica Chronicles.